Let's Prevent Suicide Together 🌻

Assalamualaikum and Hai, everyone. I hope you guys are in better condition and healthy.

Today I will write about a tough topic titled Suicide Cases since September is considered as Suicide Awareness month. Nowadays we often listened about this, despite the cases of COVID-19 rising. 

Did you know?

They estimate that the rate of suicide cases will increase this year, and suicide is among the top three leading cases of death.

First of all, let's watch a video on Suicide to gain a basic idea about this.

To summarize,

"Suicide" means ending your own life while "suicide attempt" means that someone tried to end their life, but did not die.

And yes,

"SUICIDES ARE PREVENTABLE."

Many famous figures also go through these stages in life (feeling suicidal) but fight with the thought of suicide and finally succeeded to become who they are now.

Do you know who? I believe you know them...

For some example; Chris Evans a. k. a "Captain America", Jim Carrey a. k. a "The Mask" movie's actor, and J. K. Rowling, the "author of Harry Potter" and others.

They all have problems of their own, but they still managed to be "someone".

That's why,

"SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER,"

We often forget that "Life is not about quitting, but it is about facing them and learning the lesson it comes with and becoming stronger".

Remember the time, when you are in school, you often found it hard to cope with your studies at that age, but somehow with some dedication and hard work, you succeed even with passing marks. And the studies before seems easier as you look back. 

I remembered getting pinched and scolded when I was in school when I was 9/10 years old because I can't solve simple mathematics questions, till I found that it was very difficult and I don't want to go to class.

But somehow, as I focused on mathematics and start enjoying the progress and find creative ways to learn it, I succeeded. I got excellent marks for all board exams since then like in Malaysia; we called it UPSR and SPM, and even in my diploma course. Alhamdulillah.

But maybe this is not enough. 

Let's talk about something practical in my life.

"When I was also in secondary school, I often get teased by male students for some childish topics. I remembered crying alone because "who enjoys getting teased" and don't want to get parents/families involved.

So that time, I reached out for my Lord, like I often tell Allah (my Lord) my sad stories and problems even though I knew that Allah knew as He is Al-Alim but Allah still listens as He is As-Sami. That somehow gives me the strength to overcome and hope as I remember his promises."

"Indeed, after every hardships, there is ease," (Al-Shahr 94:5)

"Do not lose hope, nor be sad"

(al-Imran 3:139)

"Do the people think they will be left to say"we believe" and we will not try them?"

(Al-Ankabut 29:2)

I even try to ignore them, and when they tease, I just smiled and go along with them. I also have my friends to not focus on that problem. When I remember those moments, I feel a little stupid but proud as I got to overcome those phases that I found hard at that time and age.😅😅

After these incidents in school, I tried "to be stronger and avoid the situations that could lead to the same problem and having a good circle" that even in my diploma days, I had nice experiences where there is no bullying and less crying.

Remember,

and again "SUICIDES ARE PREVENTABLE" 

❗Before that..❗

It is important for us to know about suicides, so that we can offer help, and eliminate the stigma on suicides so the silent-help seekers will find a hope to help themselves. 

But in this blog, I will NOT TALK about why people commit suicide, who is the one to blame, and all as it is a very complex issue. We may say that people commit suicide because of depression. 

But did you know?

Not all who have depression commits suicide. Other reasons some people commit suicide are,

Instead, I will share some tips about preventive steps to fight Suicidal thoughts (thinking of suicide).

❗Before this, let me remind you that the tips that I mentioned may be inactive for some, so please, for further help, please seek specialists' help. ❗

1. Know and Love yourself.

Did you know who is the biggest and hardest enemy for you?

It's you.

Yes, the biggest battle of someone is with himself.

Fight those negative whispers that ask you to do the hurtful things.

The Arabic term for this negative whispers is "waswasah" which means "The Whispers of Devil".

Other than "the waswasah", we are also a culprit who weakens our self-esteem. Which makes us vulnerable to hurtful things. 

Don't get my point?

Please watch the video below,

It is easier for us to lower our self-esteem rather than being harsh to others without knowing when it starts to "backfire".

We often give ourselves names that somehow make us feel bad about ourselves. Even I did that before, I would say inappropriate things to myself but it didn't help.

But when I change what I said to myself to 

"Yes, you can do this".

"It is okay, girl. Try again, who knows this time it will works".

"This is happening for a better reason. Keep patience."

I feel a different vibe around me... A positive one ..

But you may wondered that how to know ourselves better? For that, watch a video again.✌✌

After knowing, try to accept, and cherish yourself.

Keep patience, resume your hobbies back, and be happy.

"Be with someone who makes you happy"

And when you love yourself,

You should find courage in yourself to seek help from others. We need to be honest when we have destructive thoughts that keep on stressing us.

Take care of yourself by seeking help from health professionals.

There is NOTHING to be ashamed if you seek help instead it is something to proud. Because not everyone have the courage to help themselves.

2. Appreciate others

Yes, start appreciating the ones who are with you, but you don't always notice them. 

Such as your parents, friends, and best friends.

We often lost in our sadness about someone/something that we forgot to notice others who have been there for us.

Someone wise had said that "When you die, you never die alone".

"There is a famous Hindi movie, named "3 Idiots" where there is a scene where the main lead hero attempt suicide because he was rusticated from the college and he was scared that he might hurt his family because of that issue.

But his family was sadder when they saw him laying on the bed."

That movie has also a very important message that when you have thoughts of killing yourself, looked back at the smiling pictures of your parents or close ones, and think that will they be that happy again after you harm yourself?

3. Get help from others

Sometimes people who attempt suicide not because they wanted to die, but because they don't know how to get help. Suicide attempts are not a cry for attention but a cry for help. It becomes a way to show to the world just how much they are hurting.

Unfortunately, these cries for help may sometimes prove to be fatal if the person misjudges the lethality of their chosen method. People who make a failed attempt are also at a much higher risk of trying again, and their second attempts are much more likely to be lethal. 

That's why it is important to get help from someone who can help, especially a specialist, psychiatrist, or mental health professional, help locate a treatment facility, or take them to a doctor’s appointment.

We often minoritized our problems, that we eventually start burdened ourselves and hurts internally.

Let me share something. During the pandemic of COVID-19 was higher in Malaysia, we were in movement control order (MCO) so the Health Ministry forward helpline numbers to help those who need emotional support or counseling.

I believe even there are other authorities from other countries even in Malaysia that provide this kind of help even NOW.

Because seriously, it is much easier to share about yourself to strangers rather than your close ones.

There is pleasant news too,

For those who are having mental illnesses, such as Depression, Schizophrenia, and Bipolar disorder, you can also seek help as they are all treatable with changes in lifestyle, therapy, and medication. Most people can be treated and recover.

"Even the problem that seems hopeless has solutions."

Even seeking help from therapist, 

• can help you to change your negative thinking patterns, 
• help to learn new healthy ways to regulate "-ve" emotions
• To move through the sad moments
• To learn new strategies)tips for self-help
• To speak and share frely wothout fear of being judge 
• For moral supports
• More..

4. Learning the meaning of life.

"Life is about learning and grow internally as we experience and contribute to the outer world."

If you don't know the meaning of life, try to explore and learn. InshaAllah, you will find it.

"For me, as a Muslim. life is a journey from Allah and to Allah. Life is not only about physical successes such as money, degree, or better jobs , but also having this superior relation with the One who created us.

Life is also about finding the One who created us and finds how He wanted us to live. 

In life, we often can feel sad and lose hope, but when you have this special relationship with your Lord, and you know that He can solve everything, it can give you hope, strength and patience to face that problem.

Even for me, the pains and problems in this world are temporary".

and as a Muslim, it is haram (prohibited) to attempt suicides, and there are specific punishments for those who commit this.

5. Be a good friend

This is a tip for someone who has a friend with this kind of problem.

We often look for someone who can help us instead of being one.

If you had an opportunity to help someone, don't hesitate and help them. You can help by offering a listening ear. Everyone wanted to be listened to.

Let your loved one knows that you care for them. 

❗But...❗

Don't take the responsibility to heal the loved ones. You can offer support, but you can't make them get better. They have to make a personal commitment to recovery. Just like I said before, you have to help yourself.

It is unquestionable that when you witness someone deals with negative thoughts, it could stir up many difficult emotions.

Care for yourself too. Find someone who helps you too and getting support.

I wana share some of myths and facts related to suicides... I hope it helps us even more to fight for a better life and help those silent-help seekers ..

You may not realize, but no one dies alone. You may think that people don't care about you or you're a burden, but you're not. It's only a feeling thats try to pull you down.

Even I feeled it a lot when I feel sad. But as soon as I try to help myselves, somehow I feel motivated to not be a burden and be capable.

Just like a storm comes after a strong wind and thunder, suicides also happens after some warning signs.

We need to be more observing and helpful. Because there are probably many things going around us, but we didn't get the chance to realize it.

For more information, I will share some links which may be helpful for you.

https://www.verywellmind.com/why-do-people-commit-suicide-1067515#a-cry-for-help

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm

https://www.bethe1to.com/bethe1to-steps-evidence/

https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/infosheet/what-is-suicide

I am neither a doctor nor an expert. Just a student who tries to help those who needed help with whatever I can. 

If you find my blogs helpful, feel free to share it with others.

Ambition or Dream High?

Assalamualaikum and Hai everyone..

In today's blog, I will share about

 "Dreams vs Ambitions".

You'll get the idea about what I wanted to share by the above quote when you continue reading below😃😄.

First of all, I believe many people think that they (dream & ambition) are similar, isn't it?

But they are actually slightly different from each other.

As ambition refers to someone's desire to achieve something in life while a dream is your aspiration or hope to achieve something.
For example, my ambition is to become a doctor while my dream is to become an Avenger probably as a superhero. Haha, just kidding (but it's true) ... 👉👈

We often confused with these terms that we often messed a little in our lives in the future.
Weird? Let me explain how.

Dream

Firstly, a dream is like having a fantasy world in your mind where you can become anyone or anything that you wanted to. It's like your own free world where you can be anything even a friend of SpongeBob.

You can imagine anything that you wanted to be as well as a positive character or even a bad character.
A dream also can be considered as a series of thoughts, images, and sensation that occurs when you are sleeping.
"You know when you sleeping and feel like you are on a vacation with your friends and somehow it looks real but it isn't'.

Yet, too much dreaming can lead you to daydream and make you lost in the fantasy world of yours that it started to harm your productivity and makes you lose focus. Even you tend to waste your time because of it. "You may have experienced this when you tend to sleep and daydream rather than doing your homework~~"

Ambition

Secondly, ambitions are when you transform those dreams into a goal that you would love to achieve. You use your dreams as a blueprint to work on for better life planning.

For example;
To read, work, and stay in dark rooms, what do we need? Any guess?
Yes, we need Light. Did you know who invented the light?
Exactly, it was Thomas Edison. He was a great scientist with hearing disabilities yet it doesn't stop him from transforming the lives of billions worldwide. He failed about 1000 times yet he didn't give up until he succeeded inventing the incandescent light bulb.

Haha, but I believe we already knew about Ambitions since school yet especially when your teacher use to pressurizes you to have one when you can't even think one...
P.S: Actually, they don't pressurize us. We're the one who feels it... Haha.

I remember writing different field of jobs in the ambition's section, whenever I have to fill a form because I can't make any definite choice. Old memories ~~ 😷😷

"Everyone wanted to be successful but only some works for it and a little earn it with their hard work."

Have you ever thought that why do we need ambition?

We need ambition in life for a definite purpose, and they help us to focus on our goal, no matter what the cost. Everyone can have different ambitions like someone who wanted to be a doctor, police (like me), scientist (also me), good child, dancer, singer, a righteous wife or husband (eh..) and many more... There are a variety of choices in this small world.

Someone's ambition usually depends on their interests and their surroundings such as their parent's profession and believe me, it is common to switch your ambition to something else from another, from time to time.

Ambition is important as a career and to achieve something which we are not just handed in life and to help you whenever things are not going so great in your life. It will help you to lead yourself out of that situation and find happiness.

My ambition.

Seriously to share, my recent ambition is to become someone's in the science field while my ambition when I was young was to become a Crime Investigation Police ( detective). Because it sounds so adventurous to go to crime scenes and investigate the cause of crime and all. Even, when I was a kid, I also learned martial arts so it boosts my interest to be in the Police Force.

I would like to share about a book that I am still reading as it is so contentful that I have to read it slowly to not miss any important points titled Think and Grow Rich which share stories of successful people who work hard to earn a fortune rather than waiting for it. This book has many tips that can help you to be successful...

This book mentions that to achieve anything, you firstly need definite purposes which means you know what you want to achieve in life. This is the first step to accomplish anything in life.
And then, you need to work on your plans to achieve this purpose in life both physically and mentally.

How?

It's going to sound tricky a little but I will try to explain.

The effort that you can make mentally is by having faith (confidence) that you can achieve that ambition of yours. You have to keep repeating and saying to yourself that you can do it. Eventually, those repetitions will trigger your subconscious mind which plays a big role in influencing your actions and attitude and then, your subconscious mind will provide you plans to achieve the thing that you desire.

Let me give you an analogy.

Imagine you are lost in the jungle, and you keep on telling yourself "I can escape from this jungle".
So you will feel motivated to find a way out from the jungle rather than waiting for a wild animal to find you first. Huhu sounds creepy.
When in your mind you keep repeating that you can escape from there, your subconscious mind will be alert and your mind will provide you plans or ideas to execute.
For example, you will get the idea to follow the direction of the river's stream, or making a shelter first depends on your location.

I have a story to share, ✌✌

One of my favorite personalities is Muhammad Ali who was a great America's Boxing Champion. He always says that "He Is The Greatest".🏆🏆 

And that's what makes me feel wondered, why did he say that? Was he overconfident? Was he feeling obsessive with himself?

But when I learned psychology behind this, it makes fascinates me.

“What you are thinking, you are becoming” — Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali actually wasn't saying that to show off his greatness to others but he was saying that to make himself great.

You know, when you motivate yourself by giving nice appreciative praises to yourself such as "I am smart enough to do this, this is easy peasy",

And you somehow accomplish doing that task 

 or when you demotivate yourself by saying bad words to yourself.
And it makes you feel like giving up and bad about yourself...

Feel familiar?

But...
❗Don't forget to put effort to achieve what you wanted to achieve, because...❗

Exactly, actions are important to achieve your dreams.

Even though, ambitions are important so do the efforts you put to achieving them.
Yet,

❗ You should also believe in faith ❗,

That everything is destined, and everything happens for the best.

Sometimes you work hard, you even have made a full-proof plan for your life, yet you fail to achieve what you wanted in life.

If that's ever happened to you, believe me, that's NOT THE END. 

Who knows when you keep on weeping at the closed doors, there is a door opened especially for you to open.🏡🚪

Remember, "A fighter never quits'. 💪

That's what a worldly ambition could be but...

The Main Dream and Ambition that is a MUST 

for all the Muslims!!

You should also have the ambition to become a better person and enter the Jannah (paradise) by doing good deeds and following the commandments of your Lord by written in the Holy Qur'an and As-Sunnah as guidance.

This ambition of ours should be the first as a Muslim because we all believe that this world is temporary and nothing is going last forever even this Dunya.

Deception means something that is accepted as true but it is false or invalid.

As a hadith mentioned in Al-Muwatta by Imam Malik that Rasullullah SAW had mentioned that "I have left you with two matters which will never lead you astray, as long as you hold to them: Al-Quran and As-Sunnah".

A famous Muslim preacher, Dr. Zakir Naik has mentioned that the criteria to enter the Jannah is mentioned in the Surah Al-Asr, chapter 103, verse 1-3 which are;

• He is a believer.
• Did righteous deed.
• Advised each other to the truth.
• Advised each other to keep patience.

As a conclusion to the video above, to succeed in the hereafter, you also need to believe in faith and take action.

You can't enter the Jannah if you keep on dreaming but didn't follow and do the commandments of your Lord.

It is important for us to realize that besides the worldly goals, we also should have the goals for akhirah and work for it. Finding the blessings from Allah in what we ever we are doing.
Even though this life is temporary, it doesn't mean you should do nothing about this life because this life is a place for us to gather supplies for the Judgement Day.
Who knows with your passion and ambition, you got a chance to benefits others too as well as yourselves even though you are following Science or Art streams.

For example, as a doctor who treats the one in need , or an artist who is capable to deliver a good message with his talents. You can have a lot of opportunities to do good in whatever you are gifted with.

We all are differently capable and talented, isn't it?

Let's place this world just in your hand and not in your heart.

Don't give up... ❗❗

While chasing your dreams in this life, you may stumble a lot in life which will make you feel like you can't make it and even wanted to give up.

But you have brace yourself up and keep on fighting!!!

There's a line that I wanted to share which is quite inspiring from a Hindi movie, titled Bhootnath.
" Have you ever watched an ant walking? If you try to stop it, it will change its direction and keep on walking. And if you try to stop it again, it will keep on walking in another direction. If a small Ant didn't give up, so how can a human who is far bigger than it could."

Remember as I mentioned above, you can hardly be someone you wanted to be if you don't have faith and don't take action towards it.

It's okay to take your time but don't make it as a reason makes you stop. Keep going. ⏰⏳

Sorry if there is a point that misquoted or didn't explain well.

InshaAllah, let's meet in the next blog
Asssalamualaikum and Bye, feel free to share your ambition or thoughts about ambition.

Being Positive +

Assalamualaikum and Hai everyone. Thanks for reading my blog.

For today, I will share a story and some tips with you. But before that ...

Have you ever met someone in your life and they come out to be the best person in your life like maybe your spouse, friends, BFF, and all? And probably some people who you wish you never meet with, hating them for a reason and aren't on suitable terms? Have you ever had to deal with a hard person in your life who made you feel terrible or even cry?

I guess we all have ...

According to my experiences before, I met many people with various characters like the Avengers who helps you in life with their specific unique powers and ease your burden, Thanos or Ultron who are villains in life, and some who acts like villains/toxic people in your life that can't see you happy, blocks you and treat you a little inhumanly like the Joker perhaps. Similar situation?

I believe many had to face this before or still experiencing this.

But why I am talking about this?😬

Because one thing that I learn from different kinds of people I met is that

However, what if you have negative friends who keep on providing negativity? And somehow it makes you feel bad and lower your self-esteem. Quite hard, isn't it?

Let's watch a video first...

So, what we should do when dealing with negative people in life?
I have some tips to help you.

1) Learn to forgive and love yourself 



Sometimes negative behavior of someone can harm you without you even realizing it.

I remember encountering some negative people during my school and university life where I feel terrible because I let the negative people treat me like I was nothing. I felt so vulnerable that I prefer to stay alone rather than letting people treat me bad. Huhu 😢😢

I let my emotions harm me because of their toxicity. But then, I realize that I can't control them like ever, and

"The Only Person who can Make Me Happy is ME"...

So I start treating myself by becoming
a) a friend of mine, 
b) treat me as I want others to treat me, 
c)starts appreciating myself, and being a better person 
d)find positive friends who made me feel good about myself ...

Let me share a translated line from an Urdu quote which says...

"Don't search for a nice person in your life. Instead, be one. Because who knows that one day, someone's search for a nice person will be accomplished.

I realize that neither I can change the past nor others, but I can change myself and my presence ... by becoming better ME.

2) Don't absorb their negativity.
This point is quite related to the first point.

You shouldn't allow yourself to be affected by the negativity of those people. And whatever happens, don't go lower to their level.

A famous line in Bollywood movie

" If I also act like them, then what is the difference between me and them" 

But it doesn't mean that you should ignore them, just be nice and polite but you should not try to be too hopeful. You can try to advise them but if they still insist to be "difficult", you can move on better things.

Because a difficult or toxic person is locked into their own negative mindset that is a part of the fabric of his/her character. Negative people often demand nature and put pressure on people who are closer to them. They want others to love and respect them, but they are lack of offering emotional support to others back.

3) Trying to focus on positive things & people,
You know there is a mathematic formula which is quite familiar to nowadays students ... which is
(+ve) + (-ve) = -ve
(+ve) + (+ve) = +ve

Positive people can guide you to be a better person while the negative person does the opposite. They can help and encourage you to be happy in life.

Because friendship is created to motivate you and help you to get to your next level succeedingly. Even it is well known that a person's attitude can be based on what kind of friends he/she has.

This is because they will build you up, empower you to be great, and do necessary things to get to your next level.
But as you may know, negative friends have no regard for your best interest, they may be too focused on "your energy" to help them, to such a point they aren't concerned about whatever you may be experiencing at that time.

So help yourself to find a good friend while not avoiding them, because who knows that one fine day, they wanted to change... 😉😉


4) Hold your tongue
When dealing with a negative person, it's tempting to let yourself into anger or frustration, but save yourself the heartache.

And there is a quote,

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured" - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Responding angrily to them only feeds their negativity. Hold your tongue, keep patience, and listen. Eventually, when they realize you won't give them the reaction they seek, they will take their angry rants elsewhere.

It can be difficult to control your anger but it is a key to maintaining inner peace. You can try to control your anger by focusing on other things, doing zikr (an act of remembering your Lord), and being patient.

And if you messed up, you can try to ask for forgiveness from that person and try to keep more patience after that. Because nobody is perfect and yes, you can do the wrong things at unexpected moments.

"And remember, sometimes asking for forgiveness doesn't make you any smaller, it helps you to lower your ego, avoiding any other unexpected situations and protect your relationship and relieve yourself from hatred." 🙏

I remember once a "-ve person" message me once and says a lot of bad things to me which makes me feel bad because I only texted for work purposes. And I got so angry that I texted that person back because I'm quite quick-tempered.

But after that, I feel bad, not because of that person but because I did something which I shouldn't and wouldn't like to do but I did it because I was angry, so I texted that person again and say sorry for the misbehavior and find another alternative to settle my work and Alhamdullillah, I succeeded to settle my work without that person's help. Hahaha 😀

"When there is a will, there is a way" ✌✌

The negative person is often so wrapped in anger about perceived indignities that they aren't aware of how insulting they come across.😈 Don't take their comments personally. Listen without judgment and look for a takeaway you can learn from because sometimes their words may contain a valid point which you could make use of. If you do respond, keep it objective and unemotional. 😐

5) Prayer
Yes, prayer. Prayer is a way for you to communicate with your Creator and finding faith to be stronger in person. Through prayer, we release control of our pain to the One and by doing so we relieve ourselves of the burden of pain and the stress it causes. The result is more positive feelings.

Believe me, I did this.
I feel stronger when I share my feelings to the One as He is the "All-Hearer" (As-Sami), "All-Seeing" (Al-Basir), and "All-Knowing" (Al-Alim). And the positive feeling that you gain after expressing yourself to the One is really beautiful.


Lastly, I will share my views based on my experiences  when dealing with these negative/toxic people ;

1) I learned to be more grateful and being a better person, not only for myself but for others too.
Because I know how it feels when people treat you badly. 😇

2) Nobody is perfect. We cannot expect people that we met in life to be like Captain America kind and caring. You are definitely going to meet people who are like Loki (not very bad) or even Thanos/Ultron (very bad).
(I hope you know the characters that I mentioned above.✌)

3) I get closer to my Lord/Creator, my positive friends

4) I started doing many activities like painting, blogging and even reading books to avoid myself to think about things that I shouldn't and would bring me down.

5) And yes, by meeting negative people, and all those pain and downs in life, I realize that I was alive.  😃

Last but not least...