Connaissance Centre: Being Positive +

Assalamualaikum and Hai everyone. Thanks for reading my blog.

For today, I will share a story and some tips with you. But before that ...

Have you ever met someone in your life and they come out to be the best person in your life like maybe your spouse, friends, BFF, and all? And probably some people who you wish you never meet with, hating them for a reason and aren't on suitable terms? Have you ever had to deal with a hard person in your life who made you feel terrible or even cry?

I guess we all have ...

According to my experiences before, I met many people with various characters like the Avengers who helps you in life with their specific unique powers and ease your burden, Thanos or Ultron who are villains in life, and some who acts like villains/toxic people in your life that can't see you happy, blocks you and treat you a little inhumanly like the Joker perhaps. Similar situation?

I believe many had to face this before or still experiencing this.

But why I am talking about this?😬

Because one thing that I learn from different kinds of people I met is that

However, what if you have negative friends who keep on providing negativity? And somehow it makes you feel bad and lower your self-esteem. Quite hard, isn't it?

Let's watch a video first...

So, what we should do when dealing with negative people in life?
I have some tips to help you.

1) Learn to forgive and love yourself

Sometimes negative behavior of someone can harm you without you even realizing it.

I remember encountering some negative people during my school and university life where I feel terrible because I let the negative people treat me like I was nothing. I felt so vulnerable that I prefer to stay alone rather than letting people treat me bad. Huhu 😢😢

I let my emotions harm me because of their toxicity. But then, I realize that I can't control them like ever, and

"The Only Person who can Make Me Happy is ME"...

So I start treating myself by becoming
a) a friend of mine,
b) treat me as I want others to treat me,
c)starts appreciating myself, and being a better person
d)find positive friends who made me feel good about myself ...

Let me share a translated line from an Urdu quote which says...

"Don't search for a nice person in your life. Instead, be one. Because who knows that one day, someone's search for a nice person will be accomplished.

I realize that neither I can change the past nor others, but I can change myself and my presence ... by becoming better ME.

2) Don't absorb their negativity.
This point is quite related to the first point.

You shouldn't allow yourself to be affected by the negativity of those people. And whatever happens, don't go lower to their level.

A famous line in Bollywood movie

" If I also act like them, then what is the difference between me and them"

But it doesn't mean that you should ignore them, just be nice and polite but you should not try to be too hopeful. You can try to advise them but if they still insist to be "difficult", you can move on better things.

Because a difficult or toxic person is locked into their own negative mindset that is a part of the fabric of his/her character. Negative people often demand nature and put pressure on people who are closer to them. They want others to love and respect them, but they are lack of offering emotional support to others back.

3) Trying to focus on positive things & people,
You know there is a mathematic formula which is quite familiar to nowadays students ... which is
(+ve) + (-ve) = -ve
(+ve) + (+ve) = +ve

Positive people can guide you to be a better person while the negative person does the opposite. They can help and encourage you to be happy in life.

Because friendship is created to motivate you and help you to get to your next level succeedingly. Even it is well known that a person's attitude can be based on what kind of friends he/she has.

This is because they will build you up, empower you to be great, and do necessary things to get to your next level.
But as you may know, negative friends have no regard for your best interest, they may be too focused on "your energy" to help them, to such a point they aren't concerned about whatever you may be experiencing at that time.

So help yourself to find a good friend while not avoiding them, because who knows that one fine day, they wanted to change... 😉😉

4) Hold your tongue
When dealing with a negative person, it's tempting to let yourself into anger or frustration, but save yourself the heartache.

And there is a quote,

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured" - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Responding angrily to them only feeds their negativity. Hold your tongue, keep patience, and listen. Eventually, when they realize you won't give them the reaction they seek, they will take their angry rants elsewhere.

It can be difficult to control your anger but it is a key to maintaining inner peace. You can try to control your anger by focusing on other things, doing zikr (an act of remembering your Lord), and being patient.

And if you messed up, you can try to ask for forgiveness from that person and try to keep more patience after that. Because nobody is perfect and yes, you can do the wrong things at unexpected moments.

"And remember, sometimes asking for forgiveness doesn't make you any smaller, it helps you to lower your ego, avoiding any other unexpected situations and protect your relationship and relieve yourself from hatred." 🙏

I remember once a "-ve person" message me once and says a lot of bad things to me which makes me feel bad because I only texted for work purposes. And I got so angry that I texted that person back because I'm quite quick-tempered.

But after that, I feel bad, not because of that person but because I did something which I shouldn't and wouldn't like to do but I did it because I was angry, so I texted that person again and say sorry for the misbehavior and find another alternative to settle my work and Alhamdullillah, I succeeded to settle my work without that person's help. Hahaha 😀

"When there is a will, there is a way" ✌✌

The negative person is often so wrapped in anger about perceived indignities that they aren't aware of how insulting they come across.😈 Don't take their comments personally. Listen without judgment and look for a takeaway you can learn from because sometimes their words may contain a valid point which you could make use of. If you do respond, keep it objective and unemotional. 😐

5) Prayer
Yes, prayer. Prayer is a way for you to communicate with your Creator and finding faith to be stronger in person. Through prayer, we release control of our pain to the One and by doing so we relieve ourselves of the burden of pain and the stress it causes. The result is more positive feelings.

Believe me, I did this.
I feel stronger when I share my feelings to the One as He is the "All-Hearer" (As-Sami), "All-Seeing" (Al-Basir), and "All-Knowing" (Al-Alim). And the positive feeling that you gain after expressing yourself to the One is really beautiful.

Lastly, I will share my views based on my experiences when dealing with these negative/toxic people ;

1) I learned to be more grateful and being a better person, not only for myself but for others too.
Because I know how it feels when people treat you badly. 😇

2) Nobody is perfect. We cannot expect people that we met in life to be like Captain America kind and caring. You are definitely going to meet people who are like Loki (not very bad) or even Thanos/Ultron (very bad).
(I hope you know the characters that I mentioned above.✌)

3) I get closer to my Lord/Creator, my positive friends

4) I started doing many activities like painting, blogging and even reading books to avoid myself to think about things that I shouldn't and would bring me down.